We who are in our fifties probably remember the original version of Scrooge. Remember the ghosts of Christmas past/present and future? That movie evoked so many memories for me and it has become a tradition at Christmas time for me. I sit down to wrap gifts and put on the original movie: I used to know most of the lines I had watched it so often.
Here’s something I’ve noticed lately when I speak to women in transition…they don’t really like the holidays. The busyness: the obligations: the “shoulds” for family who don’t always show how grateful they are. These same women are beginning to feel invisible: like ghosts. That’s what one woman called herself recently: a ghost…nobody saw her anymore. My mom speaks of that sometimes (she’ll be 77 in 9 days) She says it’s ok for her to be invisible to most people because that means they don’t expect much from her.
Holy crap…when did this happen?When did it become ok to dismiss a person simply because of age? Seriously? …Are we becoming the ghosts of Christmas present? We’re here but nobody notices? I use the collective we here intentionally.
In my family the truth is that I am very much noticed and acknowledged and loved and I know that for a fact. In my family my sisters and mother are very much acknowledged and loved…we make a point of “seeing” each other no matter what we are doing or saying. A phone conversation or a letter or a visit…we”see” each other as we listen to the words being used..
Here’s what I started thinking about as I listened to the women I was hearing: Do you ask to be acknowledge? Do you ask to be loved? Have you refused the gifts that were offered to you? Have you stepped into the courageous and scary place of speaking your truth about what you want out of life? Have you stepped up and told your family what you expect from them? How you expect them to be around you? How will they know if you don’t tell them?
We (again the collective we) may have expectations that are not fulfilled but is that because those we love are not mind readers? Have you shared your dreams? Have you shared your expectations or do you sit in judgement of them because they are not doing what you expect (even though you’ve never told them?)
If you’re feeling like the ghost of Christmas present this is your chance to make like Scrooge who (cowering in his bed clothes) says to the apparition “I cannot change. I am too old” even as he does begin to shift…he faces his fears and his past mistakes and takes responsibility for his behaviour.
Do you love the way it ends? Scrooge with the Cratchets all sitting around making merry? No ghosts there…even an old miser like Scrooge can change and if he can then you can too! You ready? Are you going to be invisible or invincible? It’s your choice..
Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones and may 2012 be brilliant and graceful and fearless.
